Second Discovery

How funny is life that just when you think you're sorted. The washing is up to date, the floors are remotely clean, everybody is fed, washed and happy and you have that little feeling inside that today was a good day, I've done well today and ticked off all my tasks....

Second Discovery:  That whom ever they named Murphy's Law after must have been one tough bastard. It is a hard, unrelenting, snap back to reality that hints that somehow the universe let you get organised enough just so you can cope with whatever hits the fan next!
Yesterday was going so well, everyone was calm, dinner cooked and eaten, kids bathed, in pj's ready for bed, sitting down to read school readers (which is very exciting for my 5 year old son at the moment so I'm going to grab this opportunity and roll with it as hard and as far as I can). Then, after suggesting to a certain very curly haired child of mine to stop fidgeting, I look over and catch a glimpse of a nit! Awesome, the proverbial hit the fan. 2 kids ran off and hid behind the couch, affected child burst into tears "All I want is a cuddle" (Um I love you, however you will just have to wait for a moment), 2 year old trying to climb onto his lap for comfort and hubby not answering his phone, out playing sport. An hour away….

Dont you love those moments where no instructions or guidance are ever going to be found in a parenting guide. That somehow you have to figure out what on earth to do and in which order to do it whilst attempting to remain calm in front of the kids, when all you really want to do is yell out "Are you kidding me?" Just like the first time you ever have to clean vomit off carpet. Who teaches how to do that in parenting 101? And why without fail will kids never make it to the tiles or in a bucket? Or maybe that's just mine. A couple of months back we had eldest son, who sleeps on the top bunk not only cover himself and all of his bedding but manage to lean over, cover his younger brother and all of his bedding and then stagger down to our bedroom and cover all of our bedding and my carpet before making it into the shower. So ridiculous it ended up being funny, hubby and I standing in the middle of the room at midnight with what can only be inadequately described as a dumbfounded look on our faces laughing trying to figure out which child and what bedding and flooring do we attempt to clean first, and how on earth do we go about it?

Back to my surprise discovery... So instead of tucking everyone into bed and quietly climbing into mine to read a book in peace and quiet ( I know, maybe I said it out allowed and jinxed myself) I found myself stripping, washing and remaking 5 beds, everyones towels, clothes etc.....before spending another 2 hours shampooing, combing and conditioning everyones hair, making sure I'd destroyed every last one of those little buggers, all the while panicking that maybe my head was itchy too. The stench of tea tree oil was so strong it then set all of our smoke alarms going, so we all half froze with open doors and windows trying to clear the air, hopefully not waking up the neighbours.

Conclusion: It was an awful night. However, like I said in my last post, we got there. We officially made it and came out the other end ok.  All the kids eventually climbed into bed (with the cleanest, most thoroughly combed hair imaginable) and hubby and I even got to spend some quiet quality time together. Albeit at midnight whilst we combed tea tree oil shampoo though each others hair, but it was quiet and I suppose you could label it quality! The main point being that we eventually got there, I now have some new skills to add to my collection, (not that I ever want to see another nit EVER AGAIN) and an entire weeks worth of washing was accomplished within one night. And, touch wood, at least it didn't happen the night before camping or whilst we were away! Now that probably would have pushed me to the max.

Maybe we should compile a how to parenting book for those jobs that no one teaches you how to perform or cope with. Those awful tasks that you somehow have to find the courage to do whilst smiling comfortingly at the kids. Maybe that's my task for today, what's the best natural way to clean soiled carpet? I'd be interested for ideas.
Good Luck for your day. Maybe my goal for today is to not be quite so organised, then technically Murphy's Law wont come into play.Will it? xx

When I mentioned it was curly………I meant it!

My First Discovery....

My first discovery. There has been more than a couple since entering the crazy awesome world of motherhood, however this is the one that prompted me to start exploring my head a little deeper. Perhaps it was more of a momentary realisation, a slice of self discovery, just a fragment of time where the mist clears and a ray of sparkling clarity seems to penetrate the defences. I'm not sure whether the thickness of my mist has been enhanced by the joys of morning sickness combined with an additional haze of sleep deprivation or whether  thi

s just happens to be the right time in my life for realisation to hit.

For the last 8 years, whilst discovering the world of motherhood, I have found that the underlying thought pattern of 'What do I want to become' or a 'what do I want to be when I grow up' has remained steady. There has yet to be a moment where I feel as though I've arrived. Each and every day has been a constant learning curve leaving me feeling like I'm still coming to terms with feeling like a fully fledged adult. Which is a little scary as I'm technically an adult and have been for a while now. I still find the memories of school so fresh that I have to hold myself back from joining in when the kids chorus out at assembly "Good Morning Teachers". And when my hubby and I sneak away for a night away together in an attempt to remember what it feels like to be a couple, there is this small underlying feeling of 'pretending' to be a big girl. Maybe it's just me? He seems to think I've lost the plot.  

Sure I'm a wife, a mum and a woman, but how and in what order? Are these multiple personalities easily interchangeable and meant to smoothly slip into place as the need arises, or am I meant to somehow be all at once? How do you go from being in mum mode complete with baby spit running down your shoulder, a colouring in pencil behind your ear and play school music playing in the background to wife mode let alone something glamorous and 'womanly'. And where is just me? what is she? Has she changed or just buried under the layers of responsibility? Will I ever learn to change my internal label of being "I'm JUST a mum".

My moment of thought provoking clarity came a couple of weeks ago when my eldest daughter was participating in a school project. Whilst learning about life in the 1850's, she had to take on the persona of a character and role play. Jumping in the car, so excited to tell me all about it she said "OMG (apparently this is 'cool' at the moment, however, not when I say it. Then it's just embarrassing!) I asked to be just like you and I got the part". Really, you want to be like me? What kind of me? Happy mummy me or crazy it's Sunday and this place is a pigsty me? Sad that rather than being humbled by her comments and excitement I panicked and my first thought was "am I doing an ok enough job at this mum thing to encourage you follow in my footsteps?"  

Guess that means I'm going to have to pay a bit more attention on where I'm heading then rather than attempting to stumble along blindly and call it coping?! Which always makes me giggle. I've heard people comment, "my goodness, I don't know how you cope with the washing let alone everything else that goes with 4 kids and 2 businesses!". What makes you think I'm coping? I just do what needs to be done. I'm not generally one for fessing up that yesterday I hid under the clothes line with a coffee just for 5 minutes of peace so I didn't completely loose my cool, or that I hide in the toilet just to read my book or that I change the music in the car to the station I want, turn it up loud and sing so I can't hear the fighting in the backseat!!!

I'm not the perfect mum, and my children more than anyone have seen me at my barest. Grace has rubbed my back when I've been sobbing with morning sickness in the bathroom, George has told me I look beautiful when I'm standing in my wardrobe trying to find something that hides all my mum scars and rolls, Angus just cuddles me when he knows I'm nearing the edge and Lulu just knows how to make me smile. I can't hide from them. I can't pretend to them that it's easy. They see all, they know all. So to have Gracie say she wants to be like me, well maybe that's just about the biggest compliment a mother could ever wish for. 

It may have taken 8 years, 4 kids and quite a few moments that have tested me more than I would care to admit but I think maybe I'm nearly getting there. It isn't meant to be easy, however it most certainly is meant to be worth it.

Discovery 1: I Love Being a Mum. So despite the fact that there are times when I've been pushed to the max (remind me later to tell you my honey story!), I have made it through ok so far. Maybe not altogether unscathed or blemish free but I've made it through and learnt so much along the way. There are bound to be moments for the rest of my life that test my every ounce of tolerance, coping ability, acceptance and empathy. However I have to just get into the mindset of that it's all do-able. 

I love the saying "A smooth sea never made a skillful sailor" I'm not sure how to switch that analogy to parenting, I'm sure there are many ways, feel free to be creative.

I love cuddles, I love stories, I love playing, I love baking, ( I love watching a thunderstorm with my hubby whilst we sip cider after putting the kids to bed!). This may all make me sound like a complete nerd, however I do deep down inside love these things (even when we have to read the same school reader over and over and over again!)

Therefore I'm going to do everything in my power to do the things I love as MUCH as possible. Life is short and way too precious to waste on regrets and guilt. I have no idea what's around the corner, what obstables, celebrations, achievements or heartache. All I know is that from now on I just want to live it and savour the whole journey, the ups and downs everything. What a gift life is.

On that note, I'm off to pack our van. It's a 'vintage' (I'm talking lime green and brown paisley with lovely cosy mission brown cushions) jayco that somehow fits us all in and take us all camping. Just for the weekend, somewhere simple, with a fire, a hot water bottle and my little family.

For more information about me and my flexible online "stay-at-home-mum" friendly business simply head to http://www.emilylimb.arbonne.com.au