When we fall in love, our rose coloured glasses make life seem pretty awesome, and it is. We have found someone to share our life with, our triumphs and challenges. We have someone to care for and who cares for us. Life seems great and planning out the nitty gritty details seems boring. They lived happily ever after right?
It is interesting that when you start a business, so much time and effort goes into planning. We write our business plans, schedules, marketing strategies and policy and procedure manuals. We consider our employees needs, our work hours and invest considerable time and money into ensuring that everything will run as smoothly and efficiently as possible. It's necessary and all the successful businesses do it. Could applying these concepts into your marriage/partnership not only be a brilliant investment but more than necessary?
Let me go back to where this concept evolved. My husband and I run two businesses from our home office, a Building Company http://michaellimbbuilders.com.au and an online Premium Skincare & Personal Care store http://emilylimb.myarbonne.com.au. Over the last 8 years we have been on a steep learning curve of business development, always looking to improve and evaluate what we have created in our working lifestyle. We seek success, efficiency and a lifestyle that's enjoyable and provides for all of our needs. To take this a step further we started having sessions with a brilliant business coach who enabled us to delve even deeper and create a more stable, effective and enjoyable working environment. Jem from http://leadersinlife.com.au systematically led us through each process, opening our eyes to concepts and business systems that have completely altered the way we view our work. We have implemented monthly 1 on 1 meetings with our staff, new systems and procedures and have found a deeper level of understanding communication that will benefit so many aspects of our lives. We also created what is known as an ESIP Business Plan.
Sitting down for a 'business meeting' one night after we had finally got the kids into bed, we were reevaluating what we had come up with when we looked at each other and said simultaneously "why don't we have our own ESIP Plan?" Neither of us could comprehend how something so simple yet so important had never even been considered. We had just expected that as our marriage was pretty good anyway, that looking at things on that level probably wasn't necessary. We had survived our ups and downs and managed ok. However we both want more than ok, way more. Our marriage is more important to us than any business we could ever create and deserves the equivalent attention and planning to ensure that it truly is the best we can do.
So what is this ESIP? First and foremost its begins with
Environment/Culture
What does your relationship feel like to be a part of? What are your relationships core values, goals and mission? We all think we have a rough idea, however have you ever actually sat down together and just put it all out there. Open up and tell your partner how you view your relationship, what you want from it, what you stand for. What are the critical things that your relationship needs for success.
Systems/Procedures
It's all well and good to say "I want a relationship that feels like this, where we treat each other like this and live together this way" however, how are you going to do it?
What can you implement into your life to ensure that it all happens? It can be as simple or involved as you like and incorporate things like who cooks what nights, that you take it in turns to book regular date nights surprising the other with a new venue, one night a week there is no tv and you just sit together sipping tea/wine/whatever playing cards and laughing, or escaping for a surf together once a month. Anything and everything that you feel helps to create the environment and culture you want.
Implementation
You may have created a brilliant list of what you will do, however will you do it? This component is all about being accountable to what you have committed to doing and being prepared for the time when you slip up and forget and your partner says "Hey babe, when is date night?". This is about commitment to doing what you set out to. It's commitment to your partner and to your own words and vows.
People
A relationship is beautiful because it involves 2 people. 2 separate souls who have found love, joy and companionship with each other, they are significant to each other. What do you do to ensure your partner feels that significance and love? This is a time for personal reflection and to acknowledge that what you do and say directly impacts them. You both have core needs that are your own and significant to you. Your own personal happiness and satisfaction needs to come from within you first. However then consider how you can contribute each and every day to ensuring your partners needs are fulfilled and focus on "filling up their love tank". Imagine a relationship where both partners are simultaneously focusing on doing this. Sounds pretty spectacular.
Business plans are meant to be reevaluated and adjusted regularly. Life situations are constantly changing, however, by creating an open environment where communication is welcome and necessary these adjustments can be discussed with the ultimate vision of your relationship environment always in the forefront of your mind.
I'm certainly not a relationship councillor, just the wife and business partner of a wonderful man.
