The Power & Benefit of Community

Sometimes in the fast paced and hectic world of deadlines, commuting and commitments we can be left feeling more than a little overwhelmed, disconnected and unsettled. Our life doesnt feel like what it was "meant to" and we become tired of that perceived notion that success and satisfaction are directly determined by the pursuit of bigger, better, more. That working in excess of a 40 hour week makes you a "good" person regardless of the fact that it leaves little time for life and enjoying it with those around you.

Excitingly there appears to be a gradual awakening of the urge to create and enjoy a more simpler form of living. When I use the word simple I don't mean in any way a life of lacking. It's living with abundance of what is really important. One that reconnects us to our surrounding environment and community, where we have the time and space to be, to breathe and to support those around us. This is evident in the ever increasing appearance of community farmers markets, community gardens and mutually benefical networks. Maybe it is a realisation that 'having it all' isnt necessarily material asset focused but rather having all of our core needs fulfilled and experiencing and enjoying it all. Allowing feelings of happiness and contentment to replace those of anxiety and stress. How much nicer to consider thoughts of "I am I happy and content" rather than "I'm lonely or I'm so stressed".

This sense of belonging to a community became truly evident to me after starting my Arbonne business nearly 18 months ago. Suddenly I was surrounded by a network of people, all of a similar mindset who were actually concerned with how I was and how they could be of assistance. Being within in the Network Marketing Industry, you can only succeed and grow wealth if you help others achieve it too. Well wishes and encouragement were given freely with no expectation of return (although I was more than happy to reciprocate!). I could walk into a meeting or training session to cheerful greetings, positive attitudes and genuine care regardless of how we were connected within the business. How nice?! I've been fortunate over my years to work in some really lovely and supportive environments however this really took it to the next level and prompted me to consider how I could take this essence of community and spread it further?

With this vision in mind I was chatting with another fellow business mum (and gorgeous friend) about how many amazingly talented local people there were who ran businesses from home in our surrounding community. We thought it would be wonderful to promote them and encourage everyone to "shop local for christmas". To help advertise their business to those they live beside so that we can all support each other. Why buy cushions from a big department store when you could purchase them from a clever mum down the road who hand stitches some whilst her kids nap ?

Why not purchase your make up or skin care products from another local who walks you through her premium quality samples and whose customer service is her pride and joy? Why not purchase your children's clothing from another local parent who designs and creates a gorgeous range from home Adeline's Closet?

Set up is well underway

Hurriedly thrown together in under 3 weeks our "Shop Local for Christmas" was born. I was amazed at the amount of people who once they found out what we intended enthusiastically offered to help or be a part of it. So many comments on the night of "I never realised they did that!" and "Mind if I give you a ring and pop over and see the rest of your range?". We had Santa visit, we had a DJ playing vinyls in the background, sausage sizzle, guess the lollies, kids craft and supper. The atmosphere in the room was buzzing and all from a simple market that went back to basics, back to community spirit, back to the essence of giving and supporting and it was beautiful.

My business partner, beautiful friend and talented mumpreneur with 4 boys!!

In our tough economic climate, so many jobs that were once perceived as secure and stable are now hanging on by a thread. We are working harder with ever increasing hours and pressure to perform yet with a reduction in personal and financial security. Our focus is away from our home, our environment and community, our personal needs and our happiness. Wouldn't it be wonderful to throw our support behind those we live beside as they create assets to support themselves. To cheer on and encourage small local businesses and keep that constant cashflow within our community. To remove our blinkers and connect with people beyond our door, get to know them and their talents, enjoy their company and see all the wonder and joy that actually surrounds us.

If we all lived with a little more of a servants heart, focusing on "how can I contribute to those around me", rather than "what do I get out of this", would our happiness levels and life satisfaction levels increase? Just a thought.

What makes your community special to you? Are you connected?

Santa is always a hit.

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Could an ESIP Business Plan be brilliant for your relationship?

When we fall in love, our rose coloured glasses make life seem pretty awesome, and it is. We have found someone to share our life with, our triumphs and challenges. We have someone to care for and who cares for us. Life seems great and planning out the nitty gritty details seems boring. They lived happily ever after right?

It is interesting that when you start a business, so much time and effort goes into planning. We write our business plans, schedules, marketing strategies and policy and procedure manuals. We consider our employees needs, our work hours and invest considerable time and money into ensuring that everything will run as smoothly and efficiently as possible. It's necessary and all the successful businesses do it. Could applying these concepts into your marriage/partnership not only be a brilliant investment but more than necessary?

Let me go back to where this concept evolved. My husband and I run two businesses from our home office, a Building Company http://michaellimbbuilders.com.au and an online Premium Skincare & Personal Care store http://emilylimb.myarbonne.com.au. Over the last 8 years we have been on a steep learning curve of business development, always looking to improve and evaluate what we have created in our working lifestyle. We seek success, efficiency and a lifestyle that's enjoyable and provides for all of our needs. To take this a step further we started having sessions with a brilliant business coach who enabled us to delve even deeper and create a more stable, effective and enjoyable working environment. Jem from http://leadersinlife.com.au systematically led us through each process, opening our eyes to concepts and business systems that have completely altered the way we view our work. We have implemented monthly 1 on 1 meetings with our staff, new systems and procedures and have found a deeper level of understanding communication that will benefit so many aspects of our lives. We also created what is known as an ESIP Business Plan.

Sitting down for a 'business meeting' one night after we had finally got the kids into bed, we were reevaluating what we had come up with when we looked at each other and said simultaneously "why don't we have our own ESIP Plan?" Neither of us could comprehend how something so simple yet so important had never even been considered. We had just expected that as our marriage was pretty good anyway, that looking at things on that level probably wasn't necessary. We had survived our ups and downs and managed ok.  However we both want more than ok, way more. Our marriage is more important to us than any business we could ever create and deserves the equivalent attention and planning to ensure that it truly is the best we can do.

So what is this ESIP? First and foremost its begins with

Environment/Culture

What does your relationship feel like to be a part of? What are your relationships core values, goals and mission? We all think we have a rough idea, however have you ever actually sat down together and just put it all out there. Open up and tell your partner how you view your relationship, what you want from it, what you stand for. What are the critical things that your relationship needs for success. 

Systems/Procedures

It's all well and good to say "I want a relationship that feels like this, where we treat each other like this and live together this way" however, how are you going to do it?

What can you implement into your life to ensure that it all happens? It can be as simple or involved as you like and incorporate things like who cooks what nights, that you take it in turns to book regular date nights surprising the other with a new venue, one night a week there is no tv and you just sit together sipping tea/wine/whatever playing cards and laughing, or escaping for a surf together once a month. Anything and everything that you feel helps to create the environment and culture you want.

Implementation

You may have created a brilliant list of what you will do, however will you do it? This component is all about being accountable to what you have committed to doing and being prepared for the time when you slip up and forget and your partner says "Hey babe, when is date night?". This is about commitment to doing what you set out to. It's commitment to your partner and to your own words and vows.

People

A relationship is beautiful because it involves 2 people. 2 separate souls who have found love, joy and companionship with each other, they are significant to each other. What do you do to ensure your partner feels that significance and love? This is a time for personal reflection and to acknowledge that what you do and say directly impacts them. You both have core needs that are your own and significant to you. Your own personal happiness and satisfaction needs to come from within you first. However then consider how you can contribute each and every day to ensuring your partners needs are fulfilled and focus on "filling up their love tank". Imagine a relationship where both partners are simultaneously focusing on doing this. Sounds pretty spectacular.  

Business plans are meant to be reevaluated and adjusted regularly. Life situations are constantly changing, however, by creating an open environment where communication is welcome and necessary these adjustments can be discussed with the ultimate vision of your relationship environment always in the forefront of your mind. 

I'm certainly not a relationship councillor, just the wife and business partner of a wonderful man.

Are you a Rushed Woman?

Several weeks ago I ran into a friend at the swimming pool, it was fragmented discussion as we juggled mutliple kids and swimming lessons. Both busy mums with various commitments and responsibilities catching up poolside in between shouts of "stop trying to drown your brother" and "quick your lesson has started". As we so often do, when first asked "how are you" our response is often "good, just busy. Where has this week gone?".  Yes life is busy, it's hard to quantify how busy and measure it against something tangible. If we could, would it enable us to justify how tired we are or the fact that our to do list just didn't quite get completed this week? Has it ever been fully completed and if it was would you sit back and relax?  Are we more or less of a woman/mother/human according to how "busy" we are? Deep things to ponder poolside hey? It may have been a coincidence, or something bigger trying to smack me in the forehead and get my life back into some semblance of balance.

The weeks leading up to this light bulb poolside moment had been fraut with crazy work hours, kids commitments and very little sleep. I had found myself hyperventilating on the way to netball and getting the shakes by the end of a work day. Was that any way to live a life? I felt as though I was on a treadmill that was set just a bit above the speed I could cope with and there was no way of turning it down. Comparing notes on our crazy symptoms it in turn led to us discussing a recent article published on Rushing Womans Syndrome, Adrenal Fatigue and the effects on the body and minds of those of us effected by excessive and constant stress.

Before I elaborate on the article let me ask you a few questions....
1. Do you just love your coffee and feel deprived or anxious if you cant get your daily fix?
2. Do you crave sugar, especially during that mid afternoon slump or close to the arrival of "that time of the month?"
3. Often answer 'stressed' or busy' when asked how you are and feel as though there are never enough hours in the day to get everything done?
4. Dont get enough sleep, or when you do you dont feel as though it's restorative?
5. You spend no time in solitude, feeling as though there is no 'me time'. Catch yourself feeling as though that would be selfish or a luxury you just don't have time for?
6. Often suffer from digestive complaints such as bloating or IBS?
7. Check emails, facebook and messages whilst visiting the bathroom?
8. Laugh less often than you used to?
If you answered yes to most of the above, then I kindly suggest my frined that you keep reading....

Always one to do my due dilligence and research, I came across an interesting website www.drlibby.com. Dr Libby Weaver is a biochemist and nutritionist based between New Zealand and Australia who found an increasing number of women presenting exhibiting all very similiar symptoms or complaints. Rushing Womens Syndrome was coined to describe the cascade of hormonal changes that occur when a person experiences stress for extensive time periods and has the ability to manifest itself in various ways from unexplained weight gain, to fatigue and mood swings. As further described by the Mayo Clinic,  it is the long term activation of the stress response system and the subsequent exposure to constant levels of cortisol and other stress related hormones that can potentially disrupt nearly all of your bodies processes, increasing your risk of various health problems incuding anxiety and depression, digestive complaints, heart disease, sleep problems, weight gain and concentration impairment.

Certain amounts of stress are necessary and even normal. This response system was a brilliant evolutionary boon when running from ravenous predators, however despite our day to day living generally lacking such evasive requirements, our bodies still lack the ability to differentiate between preventing being somethings next meal and back to back meetings, coupled with emails, cooking dinner, keeping up to date on the washing, transporting kids to all of their after school activities etc. This constant feeling of being "on the go" combined with the lack of effort focused on rest and recovery leads to a body constantly flooded with stress hormones and struggling to cope. Anne Clark, the author of  Running on Empty describes this state of living as being a "human doing" rather than a "human being" and whilst in short burtst having that "doing hat" on is somewhat beneficial, living like this long term and in a constant manner tends to turn you into more of a machine rather than a someone. She states that life isn't about just exisiting, rather more importantly it should be about experiencing and reflecting and describes life as joy and living as being in an 'aware state'.

Many of us are happy to take medications to combat sleep, digestive and mental health issues and yet do not look at adjusting lifestyle situations and  time demands as a means to leading a happy, healthy and more fulfilled life. It may not be the quick fix that we all desire, however some simple alterations to daily living can have an amazingly profound effect on our health and mindset. Dr Libby suggests looking at various lifestyle alterations to assist the body regain biochemical balance and include eating more wholefoods, participating in yoga and meditation, prioritising sleep and relaxation and having that daunting yet honest discussion with ourselves regarding the impact of alcohol and caffiene. If taking simple steps each and everyday could gradually reduce your stress levels and the stress hormones constantly circulating your body would you do it? Are you worth it? Rather than viewing personal time out as selfish and a luxury, start viewing it as looking after yourself. You are worth it. You deserve it, and so does your family. Don't get caught on the treadmill. Step off, sit down, preferably in the sunshine and just be. Life is to precious to waste it being so "busy". xxx

I survived Vegas!

Not a title I ever imagined I'd be writing! But what a hoot.

In May this year I was offered the most amazing opportunity to fly to Las Vegas for the Annual  Global Training Conference for Arbonne International.  Getting the invite as a newly qualified manager was beyond exciting. Starting this online business has been a means to earn an additional form of income to support my family, however it has also enabled me grow and develop in so many ways that I would never have imagined. I now feel that I've created something to be immensly proud of that will support my family for years to come. It's taught me to open my mind to a new way of thinking and looking at opportunities which is a blessing.

However actually following through and flying over to attend on my own was initially pretty terrifying. Mother guilt hit a new all time high. Part of me was so excited to branch out and experience something new yet so many little voices in my head questioned if I could really go away for a week on my own and leave my husband (albeit with some family help) with 4 kids and a building company to run. Would he still be sane when I returned? I'm sure there are many parents worldwide who routinely travel overseas for work, however in my life to date a 3 hour visit to the hairdresser was an extravagant outing on my own let alone a week overseas. Not to mention wondering if I could go and experience Las Vegas without him? It's sad and cute all at the same time, however in our 15 years of being together I could count the nights we have been apart on my fingers and the majority of those were when I was in hospital having babies!

With a little prompting and prodding and big guarantees that all would be fine I had my bags packed and found myself at the airport. I thought it would be so nice to head to the airport as a family, enjoy a relaxing breakfast together and then jet off for my adventure leaving behind smiling kids full of excitement because mummy promised to visit M & M world for them and buy miss 3 a pair of sparkly light up shoes. Really, was I that naive? I now sincerely do not recommend taking small children to the airport so you can say goodbye at the last minute as all that ends up happening is you walking away from a grimacing husband who is left trying to console crying children whilst you try to maintain an air of dignity and not walk through security with mascara running down your face and your nose running! At least the kind security officer offered the kind words of "just keep walking dear".

Now out of sight (and earshot) of my babies, with coffee in hand I settled down to read the paper and noticed that the lady sitting beside me had the same bag. As I was travelling on my own I enquired if she was attending the conference and following a short conversation all was arranged to tag along with her group. Whilst I may have been sitting on my own for the flight, at least I knew there were others on board that if I did desperately need anything I could holler which was a great comfort. Introducing myself like that to others is not always something that I've felt comfortable doing, however it is now something I am more aware of.

I find it so interesting, watching my children at a
playground as it doesn't matter who is there, within minutes they have made new friends and have concocted some elaborate game of 'shops' selling bark ice-cream or hide and seek. Yet how often do parents stand back just observing and make no effort to strike up a conversation with the other adults watching on. Is it that we are all just enjoying a moment of peaceful solitude as our children happily play or do we begin to lose the ability to reach out and introduce ourselves to others for fear of rejection? What if we are the only other adult that person comes into contact with today, could we have the potential to change their entire day simply by saying "Hi, how are you?"

It's funny, I had so many people comment when they heard I was taking a 15 hour flight to LA. But seriously as a busy mum, when you look at the bare facts…. I was brought food I didn't have to cook, plan or shop for, I had complete access to my TV without having to argue over the remote control, I could sleep when I wanted for as long as I wanted and I watched more movies in that 15 hours than I have in the last 10 years. It was nearly heaven!!!

LA airport however is not necessarily my idea of a good time. Such a confusing rabbit warren of queues and with my extensive knowledge of international airports (Denpasar, Yogyakarta, and Vanuatu was my grand total!) I got more than a little lost so I was thrilled I had a few friends by that stage to follow. Even better was running into them after I had checked into my hotel room in Vegas to be invited out for drinks. It was an interesting text message home! "Hi honey, I made it! Just halfway through my second margarita with a group of ladies I met on the flight, hope I can find my way back to my room!"

 I must say attending a conference of that size and calibre was one of the most mind-blowing experiences. I was completely blown away. To be seated in a stadium, packed to the brim with people who love what they do and are happy to be there, gave off such a positive vibe and completely reaffirmed everything I have learnt lately. If you love what you do and work with passion, enthusiasm and the viewpoint of wanting to spread joy, work never feels like work. It feels like life, a good life. For me personally, creating a life full of laughter, knowledge, fun and love is what I strive for. We are here for such a short time. Which is insanely devastating when you consider how precious and vulnerable we are. However, it is also what makes life the gift that it is.  I fully intend to spend it in a positive way and do my best to enable those around me to enjoy it too. I want to teach my children that when we come from a place of honesty, radiating joy from the heart with the intention of making someones day a little brighter, our own lives become so much richer.

Vegas certainly wasn't as philospohical as that. I definitely saw a few sights and met a few characters that made me smile (not to mention being floored by the fact that you could book room service for IV fluid re hydration and oxygen therapy?! Wow). And you can't visit Vegas without partying! As I'm a newly promoted Area Manager I scored an invite to the pool side celebratory party at the MGM Grand which was more than a little fun. Exquisite finger food and drinks, coupled with decorative mermaids in the pool (yes, real live models as mermaids with beautiful tails that they elegantly flapped in the pool. Only in Vegas). It was so far removed from my usual form of party consisting of fairy bread, pass the parcel and making sure no one else gets hit whilst doing the pinnate. Besides, I think we all need an occasion now and then to dress up in our finery, see how long we can last in heels and party on. It was such a great way to end the conference and to celebrate everyone's achievements for the year which is something I think many of us don't do enough of. We do a good job. Regardless of where you work, how clean your house or your yard is and what you do for a living we need to pat ourselves on the back for all the things we do tick off our list and not get so overwhelmed with all that is yet to be accomplished. As the song goes "a little party never killed nobody".

So I returned home, laden with M&M's, sparkly shoes and a renewed self confidence earned from stepping outside my comfort zone and experiencing something new and exciting. It was more than just a trip/party/conference. It was a way that I could show my children that it's ok for me to still be an adult and do something for myself. It was a way to show them that even though I was nervous, I still did  it and had a blast. It was a way to show them that regardless of who you know, new friends are waiting to meet you all the time. Plus a great way for them to see that dad can step in and hold his own quite capably.
So if an opportunity comes knocking and you become fearful and want to knock it back because it may take you away from your family for a time, maybe consider changing your view? What could you show or teach your family if you just did it?  

No 5. Being Chicken of Chickens

Starting Your Day The Right Way

For more information about me and my business that I run alongside motherhood, a marriage, a building company, a cat and 2 chickens simply head to http://emilylimb.myarbonne.com.au

Fourth Discovery: 2 Year Olds can climb and honey is REALLY hard to clean up!

The funny side of this story I get now. I can look back, smile and have a good old chuckle and think phew, made it through that one. However, on the day it was not so amusing. I ended up hiding in the corner, bawling and resorted to calling mum for back up. Probably 90% of it was due to sleep deprivation, it wasn't 'unfixable' simply just not what I thought I could cope with at that point in time!
 

It all started, 1pm on a day where sleep had been pretty alusive since the arrival of our third little bundle of joy. 3 kids in 3 years and not one of them slept through the night til they were at least 10 months old. I'm sure most new parents can relate to the haze that sets in as I'm sure many others will have had horror bouts of sleep deprivation too. There is a reason they use it as a form of torture, because it's bloody awful! I love my babies and adore that quiet time in the middle of the night, where you can cuddle up for a sleepy feed  and watch infomercials on the tv of things that look awesome and I so need but physically cant open my eyes wide enough to read the numbers on my credit card. However, every night for 3 years takes it's toll and on this particular afternoon it was showing!

I had miraculously managed to get my newborn and master 2 to sleep at the same time (yes I fist pumped and did a little dance, I deserved it!) and snuggled up on my bed to read stories to miss 3 in the hope that she might drift off too. I now realise looking back that my expectations do seem a little high. I suggested to miss 3 that if mummies eyes where to close that she could just snuggle in with her books and read. But whatever you do don't wake your brothers. Why would I think saying that is a good idea? It's like waving a red flag and begging for her to do it, I certainly learnt the hard way.

I made it through one book when it all got too much and I fell fast asleep. Only to be promptly woken what felt like seconds later by a little voice saying "Mummy, my hair is sticky and I cant get the honey out". Prising my eyes open I was greeted by the sight of miss 3 and master 2 (whom miss 3 had woken up, pulled out of his cot and convinced him to climb the pantry because he has the acrobatic skills of a monkey) with honey plastered hair and sheepish grins. I would like to think of myself as a calm and controlled person, however, confessions are part of this blog so I'll be honest and say that calm probably wouldn't be an appropriate adjective used to describe my reaction! Following said reaction, master 2 took it upon himself to attempt his own clean up whilst I was putting myself back together. He then promptly flooded my bathroom and woke up the baby. It was about now that my mum received the frantic mayday call deciphered in between hiccuped sobs and advised me to put the kids in the yard (my fence is secure, it was warm not too hot and there was shade. I may have been blubbering but those safety aspects were covered) whilst I gathered myself together and she got on her way over to help clean up.

For some reason, this scenario was not quite enough and the logical conclusion my toddlers came to was that as they were wet they should really strip out of their clothes and have a play in the sandpit whilst they waiting for Nan. Hence mum arrives at the gate to be greeted by 2 small children who were nude, wet, very sandy and rather sticky. It wasn't quite tar and feathers but sand and honey do make a rather interesting combination!

I'll be the first to admit that to have mum to call upon makes me extremely fortunate and there are many parents out there who do not have the same support network. All I can say to anyone is that if you don't have family support around you when you have baby, put yourself out there and seek a friend or another parent and be each others back up. Have them on speed dial. You don't necessarily need each other constantly but if it all hits the fan you would be surprised how many people would actually drop what they were doing to come over for half an hour and help you regain your sanity. Sometimes our pride and fear of not "being good enough" to handle things on our own gets the better of us. We think we have to prove to ourselves and the world that we can handle anything thrown at us when reality is sometimes 'you get by with a little help from your friends' and you become no less of a person for doing so.

My other discovery in this situation was how tricky honey is to clean up! It was everywhere, all the door handles, drizzled along the floor, all through the cubby house and its pretend little kitchen. I found patches of stickiness for a week and bees moved into the cubby. It was a combination of warm soapy water, persistence and a week of sticky patches.

So in finishing this post and having touched on establishing and maintaining a support network and the clean up of honey I'd also like to add that the bad moments end. As awful and tiring and devastating that some moments can be, drawing out feelings of frustration and inadequacy. The storm will settle and the chaos will subside. Let it happen, let it all hit the fan and remember that with the dawn is a new day, a new beginning, another chance and a new you who has all of the lessons from yesterday now under your belt to enjoy today. xx